The May Atlantic contains an article on competitive eating by Jason Fagone, who penned the following remarkable statement:
Competitive eating is a symbolic hair ball coughed up by the American id. It is meaningful like a tumor is meaningful. It seems to have a purpose, a message, and its message is this: Look upon our gurgitators, ye Mighty, and despair. Behold these new super-gluttons, these ambassadors of the American appetite, these Horsemen of the Esophagus.
I am inspired to work the word "gurgitators" into my everyday speech. It sounds like either a vile insult or an essential part of a washing machine, second cousin to a widget. Either way I'll find a way to cough it up in conversation sometime soon in the full confidence that no one will know what I'm talking about. I guess I'm just a glutton for words.